What is Date Rape?

According to Dictionary.Com date rape is

"Rape perpetrated by the victim's social escort."

Wikipedia defines it as:

"Rape or non-consensual sexual activity between people who are already acquainted, or who know each other socially — friends, acquaintances, people on a date, or even people in an existing romantic relationship — where it is alleged that consent for sexual activity was not given, or was given under duress. In most jurisdictions, there is no legal distinction between rape committed by a stranger, or by an acquaintance, friend or lover, and the term is often used to describe any rape where there is a lack of physical coercion, in contrast to more traditional (although often inaccurate) conceptions of rape."

It may or may not involve drugs like GHB or Rohypnol.

It is important to note that date rape often occurs in the context of domestic violence. If so, constructing a safety plan is vital.

A victim should be able to receive services from a sexual assault crisis center and/or from a battered women's shelter.

          Survivors of date rape know it as a major crime against women in this country.
Its victims are much more likely to know (and trust) the perpetrator involved.
Victims are often 15 to 25 years old because those are the common dating years.

           The effects are long term and can leave a victim's life ripped apart.
Post Traumatic Stress Disorder is a common problem for rape survivors.

           The crime effects not only the primary victim, but spreads to include significant
others, friends and can even impact distant family members. The devastation
for the victim can be far reaching and the conviction rate is poor because only
5% of date rapes are ever reported.

          There are many situations where perpetrators don't feel their behavior has
broken the law, but according to the victim, the story is different.

Misconceptions can lead to a mindset that sets up a date rape. Common myths are:

Girls say no when they really mean yes.

She wouldn't have gone out if she hadn't intended to have sex.

I deserved something for buying the dinner, flowers or movie.

She knew she wanted it but just didn't want to admit it.

          In order to combat date rape before it happens we must also know and teach our children:.

Going out on a date is not automatic consent to have sex. It doesn't matter how much money was spent or what kinds of gifts were bought. Sex is not something owed in return for going on a date.

                    Date rapes are devastating. No only is a date rape a violation in itself but the victim has been harmed by someone she previously trusted. It's a betrayal that makes victims have to learn to trust people all over again. This is not an easily accomplished feat.

                 Most people think of rapes as being done by someone jumping out from behind a bush and overpowering a victim. That is not usually the case. Approximately 42% of the rapes that happen are date rapes where the perpetrator is known to the victim.

There is hope.

Education may be the key to curbing this occurrence.

No means No. Not maybe, not later

and definitely, not yes.

         Women need to know that it's all right to say no, to mean it, and that having agreed to have sex with this person in the past does not give that person an automatic right to their body. If a woman says no. It should be taken and meant as a no because that's what it is. No!