Date: Feb 27 1999 20:07:51 EST
From: Healing News
Subject: Healing News
Feb. 1999
Romance
Survey
Poems
Information
Book Suggestion
Disclaimer
Romance:
February is
the month of Love, starry eyes, nervous twitches and hearts
aflutter.
Many people have written to ask how you keep a relationship
alive after
a rape. No one has all the answers and the only thing you can
be sure of
is it's not easy. Here's a few suggestions that may help. If
anyone wants
to send input they can be included in the next newsletter:
Hold your
partner's hand for no reason at all.
Write a note
on your partner's napkin and stick it in the lunch bag.
Leave a message
on your partner's pillow.
Try a game
of "tag".
Go for a walk.
Grab a blanket,
lay down on the grass, and watch the stars or clouds.
Take time
to just be together and enjoy each other.
Survey:
Question 1
Totals: Are you a female or male?
Female was selected 55 times
Male was selected 0 times
Don't want to answer was selected 0 times
Question 2
Totals: Are you a survivor?
Yes was selected 53 times
No. was selected 1 times
Question 3
Totals: Would you say your worst problem area is:
Interacting with familiars was selected 11 times
Interacting with family members was selected 8 times
Meeting strangers was selected 15 times
Getting to know myself. was selected 20 times
Choose not to answer. was selected 1 times
Question 4
Totals: Would you say this is (see list below) than before the
attack.
Better was selected 1 times
Worse was selected 49 times
About the same was selected 2 times
unsure was selected 2 times
Choose not to answer. was selected 1 times
Poems
A cool blue
thickness crowded the space, suffocated
the purity
of the
room.
And a deep
red flower remained floating in a bath of
holy water
Worshipping
whatever god she wished to worship.
And he appeared
above her, everything she was ever
afraid of.
Her father,
her brother, her priest, her god.
False reassurance
drifted towards her from this
omnipotent
figure,
things she
could never truly believe in.
The pain was
more than she had ever experienced,
reaching every
end of
her body,
her mind, her soul.
She felt the
bruises beginning to throb,
In the shape
of so many hands on her legs, her
stomach, her
arms, her
chest.
And he held
her down in a pool of blood, her own blood,
While calling
it love and other disgusting lies.
She felt herself
giving up, becoming limp, her will to
survive frozen
by
fear.
And the room
faded into a distant memory.
When she awoke
from her dream this demon was gone but
her body lay
still
Amidst the
tainted sheets and memories that would
never be clean
again.
by Katie O'Connor
Untitled
A very long
time ago,
when I was
just four.
My father
came in my bedroom,
and he closed
the door.
He told me
of a new game he wanted to play,
I can still
remember the pain today.
I screamed
out in total fear,
but apparently
mom could not hear.
For twenty
years I've tried,
to hide the
secret deep inside.
About five
months ago, I told a friend,
and now my
life is beginning to mend.
Some days
are good and some are bad,
and when I
think of my father I get very mad.
I began each
day with a little blue pill,
to keep my
life going straight up-hill.
For many years
I've felt so ashamed,
but now I
know I'm not to blame.
So many people
have helped me along the way,
to deal with
the new game my father wanted to play.
To the friend
I told five months ago,
my feelings
for her she'll never know.
She has stood
behind me all the way,
and I thank
God for her each and every day!
Therapy
You might
have been young, or you might have been old;
but who you
would have become will always go untold.
Because of
this experience you've grown up fast;
you go through
each day living in the past.
You can still
find his scent in the air;
you can still
remember the color of his hair.
In the night
you hear sounds he made;
memories like
these will never fade.
Some memories
may be good and some may be bad;
you're feelings
will differ between happy and sad.
You'll wake
up one morning and want to end it all;
but keep in
mind that only time will tear down the
wall.
Talk about
your feelings, don't hold them inside;
because these
feelings get stronger, the longer they
hide.
It's hard
at first to explain how you feel;
but in the
end, I promise, you will begin to heal.
Therapy, at
first, is scary as hell;
but it get's
easier the more you tell.
The key, I
think, is not to rush;
because you
can't be honest with someone you don't
trust.
The Darkness
What the darkness
holds is nothing you see;
because in
the darkness is only me.
I'm in a place
where my life comes apart;
it's here
where I can live, while sitting in the dark.
I can make
my life go as I please;
no one hurts
when I want to be me.
I close my
eyes and go back in time;
but in my
mind things are different I find.
The little
girl can cry, run, and play;
she has not
to worry about having a bad day.
She sits upon
her daddy's knee;
looks in his
eyes, and is as happy as can be.
There is no
reason for her to run and hide;
because both
parents are on her side.
She will never
again feel a bad touch;
only because
her daddy loves her so much.
There is no
reason for her to live in fear;
because her
loving family is always near.
With the opening
of my eyes;
the darkness
was once again a dream I realise
by Mel at
Melo0110@aol.com
www.geocities.com/Wellesley/2236
Book Suggestion
If you haven't
read it yet, beg or borrow "Chicken Soup for the Survivng
Soul." Written
mostly for Cancer survivors the book is inspiring and
humorous.
Even though it's not a book dealing with trauma don't be
surprised
if you get a lift from reading it.
It's great
for taking along or for reading when you don't have time or
don't want
to read and entire book. It's short stories and anecdotes. This
one is especially
worth the time to check out.
Information:
Incest Survivors
Anonymous
Incest Survivors
Anonymous is an international
self-help,
mutual-help
recovery program
for men, women, and teens. Incest
Survivors
Anonymous
(I.S.A.) is
run for and by survivors and their
personal prosurvivors.
No
perpetrators
or satanist individuals permitted. No
professionals
as
professionals--only
as survivors. No students as
students--only
as
survivors.
The I.S.A.
short form of the definition of incest is
described
as: Touching
and non-touching,
verbal and non-verbal, overt and
covert. The
perpetrator
may be known
to the victim or a stranger.
For I.S.A.
meetings, information, and literature,
write to I.S.A.
at the
address below.
Please state if you are a survivor, or
other status,
so that
we may serve
you better. "Don't Quit Before Your
Miracles."
I.S.A.
P.O. Box 17245
Long Beach,
CA 90807-7245
(Please include
a self-addressed stamped envelope)
I am a Counsellor
Advocate at the South East Centre
Against Sexual
Assault, which
covers half of the population of our
state capital,
Melbourne.
Our clients
have the option of female or male
counsellor
advocates for
their individual
work following disclosure of recent
or past sexual
abuse.
As a result, my clients are 70% male and 30%
female.
We also provide
specialised services for gay and
lesbian
victim/survivors
of sexual assault/abuse; 24 hour
crisis unit
support
within the
state's hospital system; a unit
specialising
in children
(Child Protection
Unit); and a 24 hour telephone
crisis counselling
service which
links into our individual and group
counselling
service.
Greg Adkins
Counsellor
Advocate
South East
Centre Against Sexual Assault (SECASA)
Southern Health
Care Network
Monash Medical
Centre (Moorabbin Campus)
Centre Road
EAST BENTLEIGH
VIC 3166
AUSTRALIA
tel:
61 3 9928 8741
fax:
61 3 9928 8749
Submissions
Request
As always,
this newsletter is written by and for survivors and families.
It is
dependent upon submissions from you to make it a success.
Submissions
may be mailed to HealingNews@journalist.com
Thank you to everyone who send submissions!
Disclaimer
The contents
of this newletter are intended for the purposes of
basic
information and entertainment
only. The information contained here is not meant to be a substitution
for
professional help or assistance of any
kind. The editor of this newsletter claims no responsibility for the use
or misuse,
liability, or anything that may arise from the subscription to
this
newsletter.
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