Hope For Healing. Org

If You Are Raped

Get to a safe area as soon as possible.

Call for help. If you cannot call the police or a rape crisis center yourself have someone call for you as soon as possible.

 Getting medical help is a necessity. Even if you do not prosecute you need to be seen by a doctor who can check for injuries. Sometimes injuries aren't always immediately apparent. It's best to err on the safe side by seeking medical help.

Do not change your clothes(especially if you think you might file charges). Don't comb your hair, shower, use the bathroom (if possible) or change anything about yourself, until after you've had an examination by a doctor. Valuable evidence can be destroyed even by something as simple as drinking water or going to the bathroom. Try very hard not to do these things.

 Most of the time police will want to keep your clothing to look at for evidence. It's a good idea to have someone bring you a complete set of clothing.

 If you do report the crime, the police will have some very difficult questions that they will need to ask you. The questions are designed to aid in the prosecution but can seem intrusive at the time.

 If you feel uncomfortable answering personal questions to a man you may be able to ask for a female officer or for a member of your local rape crisis center.

An online criminal justice degree will show that the chances of being raped are 1 in 4. Rape is a crime. It isn't something that you need blame yourself for. It happens because someone wanted to take advantage of someone else. It has very little to do with sex and is more a crime of power and control where sex is a weapon used against you.

 One thing that is nearly impossible at first is to realize that what happened to you is not something that was your fault. I don't care what you did, where you were, or what you said, being raped is not your fault.

 You are only responsible for your actions, not for the actions of another person. The choices you made must have been the right ones if you are able to read this. Not every woman who is raped lived through it. You did. That's what's most important.

You may ask yourself, repeatedly, "Why did this happen to me?" There aren't any easy answers. It comes down to a choice one person made to control another person.
Rape isn't a crime about sex. Sex is only a weapon. It's even harder if you know the person who raped you. Yet, studies show us that most of the time the person is known to the victim. That doesn't mean that what happened to you wasn't rape. Even if you consented to sex before but didn't this time, it's still rape.

 You may feel completely betrayed because the person who did this was someone you knew and trusted. However; most rapes are done by people the victim knows and trusts. That's part of what makes this crime even more awful.

 No matter how much you trusted this person, the actions taken against you are inexcusable. They are not something that were your fault. Any shame that you feel is shame that belongs to the attacker and not to you. That's easier said than done but it is true.

 There's no shame in doing what you have to do to survive a rape.

There is a series of stages a survivor may go through.
You may want to read some more about P.T.S.D. which is also known as Rape Trauma Syndrome.

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Gayle Crabtree
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This page is not meant to be a substitute for any kind of professional help. It is merely put together by a survivor who has found much of this information helpful to her healing and offered as a possible help to others. If you feel you need a professional to speak with please contact your local rape crisis center or health care professional. I claim no responsibility for the use of this page, use of content,or content of any links leading from this page.This page is offered for support of other survivors, information and education only.