This is my life beginning from the time
I got married. Many times I've been asked if I've ever been through anything
besides a rape. Sometimes this is in the context of someone telling me
"You'll never undertand!" or asking where God is in their life. All I can
say is that He has been with me through all this. I'm no one special. He'll
be with you too.
This is the simplest way for me to put most of
the things that have happened to me. So if you have an inquiring
mind, a lot of time on your hands and want to be bored, this is for you.
(For simplicity I refer to my self and family members by name and/or status.)
If you have any questions, let me know those too. My email is: gayle@hopeforhealing.org
Gayle
1988 Gayle and John were married in the spring. In Sept. we had our first daughter Allie by c-section. My husband had a part time job which provided insurance benefits and was a full time student. Gayle went back to work holding down 2 jobs for awhile.
1999 We discover that child number 2 is on the way! Much panic ensues.
1990 Gayle goes into pre-term labor at 32 weeks then became toxic. She was also diagnosed with a mitral valve problem. Samantha was able to wait to be born until she 4 weeks early. At six weeks of age Sam had what appeared to be a seizure. She was hospitalized immediately where she was found to be setting off an apnea monitor. We left the hospital bewildered parents, with a monitor and our darling daughter. The following week, Gayle was hospitalized because of a post birth infection. In June, Gayle's grandfather (who helped raise her) suddenly passed away. Three months later, the day Gayle's mother came out of the hospital from having a mastectomy, Sam developed meningitis and was hospitalized, a few days later, our first daughter turned 2.
1991 John stopped attending school to take a new position with his employer, a large baked ham company based out of Georgia. We moved 100 miles away from home and family. Samantha was diagnosed with and had major surgery for reflux. (To this day, she still has problems.) She never set off the apnea monitor again.
1992 Filed bankruptcy because of our family's medical bills. Got rid of the apnea monitor just before Sam's second birthday. What a great present! In the summer, we enjoyed a vacation for the first time in forever. However, while on vacation Gayle's lower abdomen began to hurt. She was then hospitalized for a week because of surgery for appendicitis but was ok afterwards. Gayle's father died suddenly in October.
1993 Our eldest daughter enjoyed her first year of school. The big kindergartner loved it! We became active parents in the PTO (Gayle more than John) found a church we loved and began being active in it. Our eldest daughter began having some attention problems at school. Gayle was diagnosed with high blood pressure.
1994 Activities in church began increasing. John felt a call to join the ministry and thus began exploring those options. Gayle's mother was diagnosed with another type of cancer. In Dec., Gayle's maternal grandmother had a stroke.
1995 In Jan., John was offered his first part-time appointment in the ministry. Gayle was raped and beaten while on the job, her mother was undergoing radiation treatments and her company refused to pay worker's comp or any of the bills. John's mother came to help with the children. The churches were an enormous help in hundreds of ways for which we will forever be grateful! Gayle was hospitalized for a month divided between two hospitals. Her grandmother had a 4 way bypass and surgery for her stroke. Then in March, Gayle wrecked the car but was ok. Samantha began school in September. In October, Gayle's mother lost her battle with cancer. One month to the day later Gayle's uncle died suddenly. Samantha began having some problems with her kidneys.
1996 The year began with Gayle having a hysterectomy, followed with a bout of pneumonia. None of the bills nor worker's comp was still being paid. In April, John took a full time position with a church 150 miles away. It was to begin in mid June. As requested by the baked ham company based in Georgia, John gave notice that he would be leaving his job in June so they could begin the search for another assistant manager to replace him. The notice was accelerated and he was let go one week later. The health insurance expired the following Tuesday. Samantha was scheduled for an ultrasound on her kidneys the following Thursday - 2 days after the insurance expired. We had to go COBRA. By May, we qualified for Medicaid. In June we took the appointment and moved thinking the worst was behind us. Most of the summer was spent with John's mother, who was out for the summer from teaching school. The girls were ecstatic to see so much of Grandmama. It looked like things were better. In September, out of the blue, came the phone call from the hospital. John's mother passed away suddenly. Within the next 5 weeks she was followed by 3 of John's great aunts. We were adopted by 2 stray puppies.
1997 Gayle was hospitalized for asthma several times including a stay in C.O.U. which she didn't take too well. Sam's kidneys continued to be checked out. John was diagnosed with sleep apnea and learned to use a CPAP. In April, Gayle's paternal grandmother passed away. Her maternal grandmother came to stay with the children. Gayle and John left them, and 2 pregnant dogs behind. While gone for the funeral both dogs delivered. They arrived home to a total of 15 dogs for which they managed to find homes for 13. The first two still remain but will never have puppies again. A mass was found in Gayle's abdomen.
1998 Another year, another surgery. The mass was removed and found to be benign. She was hospitalized several more times for asthma including another ICU stay, this time on breathing assistance. Gayle was also diagnosed with seizures. She did not take this well. She took the news of a pituitary tumor less well.
1999 Gayle was hospitalized many more times, she was also diagnosed with diabetes and is placed on insuln. She took this less well. Allie entered middle school where her attention problems increased. Doctors assured us that they were because she was "at that age" and things would be better. Worker's comp was finally resolved. With the resolution, we took a much needed vacation to Disneyland. In Sept., Gayle and the girls, along with her maternal grandmother, took another vacation touring the western states and Grand Canyon. They continue to rub it in to John.
2000 found John applying and being accepted to graduate school. He moved the family to a very rural are in NC close the VA border. The nearest town is 15 miles away. He drives 55 miles each way to graduate school and loves it. Gayle insists it is not her fault. Doctor mentions that Gayle may be developing MS. She is way past being suprised at anything anymore and reluctantly adds it to the ever-growing list. John's grandmother becomes ill. Her son decides it is time to move her into an assisted care home. He leaves John to clean out the house in late-June, then disconnects the phone and electricity. How do you clean out 50 years of accumulated treasures in a 100+ degree, dark attic? Samantha begins to have more problems with reflux.
2001 Allie's attention problems are even worse. Gayle insists to the doctor that testing is needed and throws major tantrum in this office. He agrees to pacify mom and perform an EEG. Two weeks later, he phones and says "Uh, mom, your daughter has a seizure disorder." A neurologist confirms this telling Gayle and John that it is most likely to show up in Allie's music and math. These also happen to be Allie's favorite subjects.
Gayle was hospitalized for asthma and had a "mini-stroke" while there. John was diagnosed with Diabetes. Samantha was diagnosed with hypogylcemia.
We all look at medicine cabinet and wonder how soon it will fall off the wall.
John's uncle phones. His grandmother has run out of money and has to move from the assisted care facility in which she is staying. He feels she will be better off with John, Gayle and the girls. John wonders about better off for whom but says yes. His grandmother arrives in mid-July right after Gayle's grandmother is diagnosed with cancer. Samantha has more problems with reflux. Doctors peform stomach scope and find some esophageal irritation despite Sam being on every medicine under the sun. She is out sick a lot at school. Doctors agree to try one more medication and to everyone's gratefulness, it works.
2002 The insurance company doesn't want to pay for Samantha's medication. We don't either. (Isn't that what you have insurance for? ) With a lot of arguining on the part of the doctor and threats from the parents they decide to pay. She misses so many days of school they threaten to retain her to the 6th grade again next year.
Allie earns first chair in the Tri-County band. Parent's are estatic! Both kids make 4's on the End Of Grade testing NC puts all it's students through. Parent's are thrilled again. School decides Sam should pass to the 7th grade. Her year end grades have nothing less than a "B". We are waiting on Allie's grades. Met with her teachers for the last time. They are proud of her progress and wish her well in high school. (Parents decide we cannot be that old.) Gayle's maternal grandmother passes away. Without fully realizing what she's getting into, Gayle begins to prepare to homeschool Samantha and winds up having a blast!
In October 2002, Allie gets a spot in the Youth Symphony. John and Gayle are thrilled again! Her neurologist told us that the seizures would show up fastest in her music and math abilities. We were cautioned against aming "too high". She wanted very badly to be in the Youth Symphony and we are very happy for her that she was able to do so. God is good!
November 2002 Allie has another set-back. While on a band field trip 2 hours from home she has a seizure. After her side shakes for an hour and a half the school principal decides it's time to give Gayle and John a call. After testing, Allie is then removed from all marching band concerts, PE particpation and step climbing by her physician until a new medication takes effect. It's almost Christmas and she cannot even go outside or to the mall. Eventually, she'll be ok and able to participate like everyone else. We all prepare for a better 2003!
2003 January, Allie still cannot particpate in activities like she would
like.
In February, we moved to another home, endured 2 ice storms, slept
on the floor in the office of Hope For Healing.Org a few nights because
of broken pipes in the new home. Gayle's asthma acted up. She landed in
the hospital in ICU for 2 days. Her heart wouldn't get with the program.
Samantha broke her arm in 2 places. Gayle goes back into the hospital.
Then, gets out, goes to Tennessee and meets with the District Committee
on Ordained Ministry with John. Comes back and tries to catch up on all
the email. :-) It's been a very rough month, we can't wait for March.
Til next time,
Gayle
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